Friday, May 23, 2008

Real-life Gossip Girl!

I wish there was a Gossip Girl at my high school. Boy would they have a lot to write about. What with mysterious notes cut out from magazines appearing in lockers, Valentine's teddy bears from secret admirers and lots of bad sex, the would-be-blogger would have lots of material.
Turns out, there was a real Gossip Girl in New York City who blogged about the sex-fueled lives of Upper East Side eight-graders. The blogger was mysteriously shut down, but it turns out that there is a cached version of her site. And get this: She or he is actually good at what they do. Who knew that 12-year-olds enjoy sex as much as 20-year-olds?

"Thanks to a couple of little birdies, I'm here with my second post. Snaps for ITK and her gossipers? I think so. So to answer a question asked, it's official. Steven and Lucille are together, our very own Queen and King. Gone out? Of course. Hooked up? Most definitely. Gone all the way home? Only time will tell. Let's just say these two lovebugs aren't going to stop running when the ball is in the outfield, if you get my jist.

Let's see, what else is in the news? Riverdale girls being sluts? Yawn. Multiple hookups and Cat's party? Boring. Tommy Walker? Here's one. It seems that Tommy, previously the boyfriend of Georgie, came up with a plan he was SURE would sky rocket him to the top. Not too fast, boy. You might think breaking up with an A-lister could make you seem all that, but you cant jump to the next stone without proper footing. He fell so fast, even seventh graders won't hook up with him. Now that's GOTTA hurt. Dear Tommy, rip up those tickets to the top, because you're headed on a one-way trip to the B-list. Love, ITK.

Ooh, another top story. Rumor has it Sunny of Hewitt was rubbed the wrong way when BFFs Madeline and Clio started downing drinks. The girls made up, and were on good terms. Not for long, loves! Madeline and Clio caught drinking again? Silly girls, don't you realize that rumors SPREAD? Tsk tsk.
Well, that's pretty much it for today. Just remember that there's only a matter of time before everyone finds out, so don't do something you'll regret. Then again, it does make for a juicy post!

Love you all,
Miss ITK."

I have found my cyber soul mate. ITK, whoever you are, hopefully you will regain your internet privileges, and are able to wreck havoc among the budding elite.

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