The search for the perfect clutch

I feel ashamed that I am a self-professed bag-a-holic and I don't even own a clutch. I know, the horror! But I honestly can't find a use for one. I'm never walking on the red carpet at a movie premiere, so why do I need one? You may give me great suggestions like dinner, the movies, a wedding, a funeral, a fancy party. Ok I need something more hefty for all of these wonderful events that I never really attend (except for the movies and I need a massive bag to hide the food and drinks that I sneak in the theatre.)
For example, I'm bringing my Chanel classic flap (it's a medium which is pretty damn small but not as small as a clutch) to a wedding I'm attending in June, and it will hold my money, keys, tiny camera and an extra pair of underwear (yes, I'm expecting to get laid that night.) I don't think I could fit panties in a clutch. I also don't believe in this awful trend of carrying massive clutches that they might as well be bags. They are ugly and ridiculous.

And I never attend fancy parties.

So...why am I now thinking about getting one, besides the fact that every girl should own one just in case?
Well you never know when you will be invited to a movie premiere right? Or you may get the opportunity to attend a fabulous party (in which you aren't expecting to get laid so no stashing of underwear is necessary.)
So here are my choices of clutches that I would want to buy:

1. Cole Haan Genevieve Clutch
This one reminds me so much of Bottega Venetta, with the woven leather. But it's way cheaper. And I can be pretty cheap sometimes. It's very elegant and classic-looking, which is important because I wouldn't want a trendy piece for something I would be using forever.
2. Devi Kroell Gem embellished satin clutch
I like the crystals and how they aren't perfectly aligned. It's kind of funky but classy too.

3. VBH python box clutch
Normally I am not a fan of exotic skins, and I probably wouldn't buy this myself, but the colours alone make it an amazing accessory because it just pops out and would look amazing against an elegant muted evening dress.

4. Bottega Veneta Intrecciato pyramid clutch
Because it's BV and because you know the leather is going to be buttery soft. It's just understated elegance.

5. Louis Vuitton Limelight clutch
This actually fits a ton of stuff and is very soft and squishy.
6. Bottega Veneta Antilope Intrecciato Silk Knot clutch
It's timeless, it's beautiful.