Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Hills recap

- Is Lauren wearing a dress from her own line to work? Kelly Cutrone should ban it. Also, we see Whitney for approximately two seconds during the whole show and all she does is ship fabrics to New York. Tres tragique.

- "I never thought we would be together again," says Whitney to Lauren. You did? Really? Wow Whitney is either more naive than I thought or really bad at reading the cue cards the producers are holding up for her.

- Is Audrina the next Heidi? It seems that Lauren keeps pushing her away and giving her evil eyes.

- Those "You're Hearing" boxes are really annoying.

- Everyone bends over backwards for Lauren. Lo mistakenly mentions Heidi and everyone goes all quiet and looks at Lauren who looks like she heard the Devil's name spoken until Audrina changes the subject and starts talking about...Lauren.

- Heidi wants another girl's night out. Didn't she learn from the last time that girl's night out=drama? Wait, we should know by now that MTV makes these life decisions.

- Who is that mysterious old guy in the black hat who is always sitting beside Lauren but never talks?

- OMG! Heidi and Lauren are sitting at the same table. It seems like these girls have never mentally left high school because even though Heidi is sitting one person away from Lauren, Lauren acts like she doesn't exist and whispers to Lo while Audrina tries to ease the awkwardness and talks to Heidi. Apparently Heidi's evil energy pushes Lauren to the brink and she leaves while staring at Audrina. She might as well called her Judas.

- Justin Bobby is back! And he has a new haircut and hat!

- "Oh I thought we could all be friends," says Stephanie to Heidi. In the words of your crazy brother Spencer: "You are delusional."

- Lauren freaks out when she hears Audrina is having dinner with Justin. Again, who does she think she is?

- I realized that without the unwashed hair, Justin Bobby has nice eyes. Except when he widens them scarily.

- Justin and Audrina are so going to have sex. "Oh, oh" indeed, Justin. "Oh, oh" indeed.

- No! Spencer is in this episode! I was hoping for the last 25 minutes that he would be absent. But he makes up for lack of screen time by being the biggest asshole in the world in less than a minute. That's a new record.

- Lauren and Lo want to move in together with Audrina and yadda, yadda, yadda this is old news.

- "Justin Bobby was just exceptionally dirty," says Lauren just as Audrina comes up behind her. Hey, what are best friends for if you can't tell them the truth?

- Why do Lo, Lauren and Audrina seem so obviously not excited about moving in together? Could it be they actually are not best friends as MTV suggests? All those side glances add so much tension and drama.

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