If I took a fashion magazine's advice

I am guilty for falling for editor's picks in fashion mags. When I read their recommendations, whether it be the must-have jacket or a beauty tip, I fold the corner of the page and write down the advice, hoping that I will somehow become a better (or better-dressed) person.
But as I was flipping through the Sept. FASHION magazine (review on that issue to come) I realized that I am a fool for gobbling up this advice without really thinking about how much it will cost me both monetary and psychologically. I admit that ever since I became obsessed with fashion I have gotten more greedy, more superficial and more loose with my money. I can't help but think sometimes that fashion mags represent everything that is evil in the world: Greed, unrealistic body image, snobbery and eating disorders. Save for the photo editorials and maybe a "real life" column, many fashion mags dish out bad advice.

Let's take the Sept. FASHION magazine as an example.

Page 48- Readers are told that a "dull trench will no longer do." Instead, we should buy architectural coats with "sharp edges, cutaways and moulded looks." Examples given are a $3000 Proenza Schouler coat and a $6000 Christian Lacroix coat. That is what my student loan total is. But who cares? You can't be seen in a plain trench!

(Proenza Schouler coat)

Page 72- Readers, it's time to throw out all those dull cottons and polyesters. They are so boring in these rough economical times. Instead, slap the falling dollar in the face by buying outrageously expensive clothes with materials that are impossible to dry clean! For example, a $10,000 feathered Burberry Prorsum dress will not only get you noticed, but it will make you seem like you are weathering the economy just fine, thank you very much.

(Burberry Prorsum coat)

Page 84- Here's an incentive to get Botox: The treatment can be claimed on your tax return "if a doctor deems them good for your mental health." You must be mental if you even think of doing this.
Botox is tax deductible!

Page 88- After all the Summer issues advising you on how to get a great tan, now it's time to smooth out all those new moles and leathery skin with a new product you must buy. Clarins Extra-Firming Tightening Lift Botanical Serum (yes, it's really called that) "smooths summer sun-exposed skin with hibiscus extract." Thank God for the hibiscus. Wouldn't know what to do without it! Oh and by the way, it will cost you $72 to not get cancer.

"Like my tan, FASHION?"

Page 116: Buy anything the celebrities buy because "if it's good enough for Gwynnie, it must be good enough for us." Then why don't I look like "Gwynnie?" Why, FASHION, why?

"Buy me."


So say I took this magazine's advice: I would have spent around $20,000 for a couple of coats, a Botox treatment and some cream. Plus any products that Gwyneth Paltrow buys. I have a feeling that even if I did spend money like a celebrity, I still wouldn't feel like one.